And now you are caught up to March 28, 2008

I struggled for a long time after to deal with everything. I distanced myself from anything baby related including birthdays. I mourned for my baby and I mourned for me. We booked a trip with our close friends for when I would have been due and something else to look forward to.

And then came the big blow. My sister in law, the one who told me she would never get pregnant while my wounds were still so fresh, announced her second pregnancy and basically told me she didn’t want to be pregnant in the summer and be uncomfortable and I should suck it up.

I started seeing a councilor appointed by my work because life was becoming unbearable. And that is where our lives took a crazy turn. It turns out that Val was also an adoption worker. We ended up spending the hour talking about adoption and she got me so excited about Ethiopia and the possibility of adopting. I was convinced, but I still had to talk to Matthew.

I went home with some info and surprisingly enough he jumped on board right away. I knew he would but I never anticipated how excited he got. We started doing the preliminary work when we found out my job was in jeopardy and Matthew was offered a new one. We put the adoption on hold while he started his new one and I waited out the fate of mine.

When no more news was given on mine we decided with Matthew’s income even if I was to lose my job we would still be fine so we went ahead. On January 26th, 2008 we had our first appointment with Val and started the home study. We filled out our surveys, did criminal record checks, got physicals and HIV tests done, and a bunch of other stuff. We were so preoccupied with that along with Matthew working in Alberta that we didn’t even think about ovulation time. It just happen to fall right when his first three weeks were over and he was at home on a week off.

You could have knocked me over with a feather on February 13, 2008. I had temped the last couple days and it was high but I thought maybe o was off. Then at noon I got this weird feeling and I went and grabbed a couple tests. I felt like an idiot and kept telling myself that they would be negative, just like the 1000 before. It was instantly positive. The pee never even reached the control line and the test line was already positive.

I phoned Matt who was back in Fort Mac and he couldn’t believe it either. I told my sis because I needed some advice but that was it. We were waiting to tell others.

A week and a half later I went to the doc and he got me in for an ultrasound when I was 6 weeks 3 days. The growth measured 6 weeks 1 day and sac size was 5 weeks 6 days but the tech said things can be off and that was all looking normal. A nice strong heartbeat came through at 125 BPM.

We then told siblings. Well, Matt spilled the beans to Dawn, Max knew already because he had to change the litter box, Dana guessed and I emailed Ann. And then shit hit the fan.

The next day Ann emailed back basically telling me that according to an online calendar if I was 6 weeks 3 days at the day of the ultrasound then conception occurred when Matt was away. I am not sure what calendar she was using but after several heated emails, I phoned Max and told him exactly what I thought of his wife. I even sent her my chart and she still didn’t believe me. Makes you wonder what else she thinks of me. It was a rough couple days and I have to admit, she has a new nickname now but I am a bigger person than her and I have put this behind me.

Family was up that same weekend to help move Dawn into her new condo and emotions got the better of me. It didn’t help that morning sickness was starting to set in and I was lacking sleep but now I had to deal with family.

As the days and weeks went on, I got sicker and sicker and lost a few pounds. I wasn’t able to eat much and never had any energy so I took quite a few afternoons off from work.

Now coming up to 11 weeks, I am starting to feel better. I still have my times when I am sick to my stomach and have no energy but overall I am at least functioning now.

Now that we have a background, we can start moving ahead. I will try for weekly entries; at the beginning I will try to add weight and symptoms.